Comparison

Well, first essay and i’m going to focus on just writing words out as they come to me. No idea why i’m explaining myself, perhaps because its the first essay and it feels only right to do an intro for the first one. Anyway, this is a good topic to start with as it has been creeping back into my thoughts lately, which is odd, because i thought i’d taken control of this over the last few years.

We all know the saying, ‘comparison is the thief of joy’, and comparing yourself to others is never going to achieve anything other than most likely make you depressed. Your story is your own, your life is you own journey, you don’t need to impress anyone else in life to get fulfilment, and the other people that you do compare yourself to are very likely to not actually be as happy as you think they are, even if outward appearances suggest so. Instead of comparison, we should use other people as inspiration. Looking for inspiration from an elite level athlete or sports person can be good for you, it gives you some motivation to improve, it shows you what the human body is capable of, but that’s where it should stop, you should never (in my opinion) compare yourself to these sort of people directly.

Having said all of that, comparing yourself to those less fortunate than yourself can be a good reminder of how good you have it in life. There will always be someone worse off than you, and there will always be someone better off, this is just how life is. Focusing on how fortunate you are, and being grateful daily for that, can keep you grounded.

As we get older this comparison game we play in our heads fades and often vanishes completely. Only sometimes tapping us on the shoulder for a quick game or two. Playing it again reminds you why you gave it up in the first place, there are no winners when comparing, only two humans living their lives in different ways.

The really difficult game of comparison that you should try to avoid at all costs, is comparing yourself to your past (or future) self. Reminiscing of what you were like 10 or 20 years ago compared to now is a futile mind game that will send you spiralling down many different paths. The ‘what ifs’ and the ‘i used to be able to’s’ will inevitably lead to some nostalgia and perhaps sadness, when really it should celebrated that you have got to such a point in life that you can look back and reflect. Reflection is the word here, not comparison, reflect on who you were and where you’ve come from, not what could have been and what didn’t happen.

Interestingly, i’m not sure i’ve actually answered the topics question. I think we compare ourselves to others because it is part of our human makeup, and over the years of evolution, it was most likely a survival instinct, comparing yourself to other successful humans that looked healthy and had food, and seemed comfortable, you would have asked the question ‘what are they doing that i’m not’, and you would have probably copied them to become as successful.

Why do we still compare ourselves to others, because its in our nature to do so. Some level of comparison is probably healthy, but too much, and you will mentally exhaust yourself and never be happy. Even if you reach your goals, there will be someone new to compare yourself to, so where does it stop?

My advice, mostly to myself, is when comparison taps you on the shoulder for a quick game, politely decline, and tell it to stop stealing peoples joy.